Because I should be studying...

Because I'd rather do anything besides study, or really anything productive at all, I think I'll just blog my late afternoon away.

Woah. I have one day left of freshman year. One day until I'm a big bad Sophomore. Pure craziness. 

This year has been unbelievable in more ways than one. God has begun a process of growing me into what I hope will be a young woman serving the least of these with bold, unshakeable faith. You'd do well to notice the process of growing me part, because I have a loooong way to go. 

But I've begun the process nonetheless.  

With one foot in front of the other, I've marched forward this year albiet sometimes reluctantly. I think my idealistic visions of what this year would look like inhibited my progression because, well, my incurable idealism blindly ignored a few barriers that were standing in the way of the road. 

Barrier #1? Otherness. Dealing with, living near, and loving on others, people who are not like me. 

Ok, I'm just going to let the cat out of the bag. People are hard to love (even the ones you like). Living in relationship with other sinful humans is infuriating, painful, just plain hard. Somehow I seemed to have forgotten that fact when I came to school. I thought it was going to be easy to love others like Jesus loves me. I thought that God would surely conjure up in me this uncanny ability to love past the undesirable in other people. heh heh um, not quite. For much of this year, I've struggled to love. Not the people who are close to me, like my friends or family or boyfriend, more like the people who aren't like me. The people who believe "weird" things, who don't share my political opinion, who go to parties and drink, who drive me absolutely bonkers. These are the people I've struggled to love. But I believe whole-heartedly that God placed these people around me to help me vanquish this persistent barrier. He wanted me to see that He loves all of us, not matter the differences! I also think that I needed to see that sometimes I need to rely on the power of God to help me love. 

Barrier #2? Intentionality. 

Confession: Before I came to college, I pulled out my repertoire of colorful markers and paper and made schedule after schedule, calendar after calendar, in anticipation for what my days would look like as a Hope College student. Then I got here, and well, let's just say that those colorful schedules made it about a week. I let the whirr of "newness" demolish even the best of my intentions. I began to procrastinate the very things I promised would never again eliminate from my schedule: time set aside for devotions and focused prayer. With a few days of rationalization ("Oh, I'll do my devotions later today"), my daily time with God became sporadic at best. So how has God been tackling this barrier? Well, He's shown me that being intentional with my time is of vital importance, and that if I am not intentional about it each day, I'll fall wayward. 

Barrier #3? A Full Circle. This one isn't exactly a barrier, more just a lesson, but we'll just stick with the theme. 

The past 5 years or so haven't been the most stable for me. Not that I experienced anything incredibly traumatic, just not really stable. If you read this blog often or know me personally, you know that my family has moved a couple of times the last few years. You may also recall that I don't exactly do the best with change (understatement of the year). Well, I can say confidently that this year God has brought things very "full circle." For awhile, I was just very confused and mad that God would keep mixing up "my" plans, but something funny happened this year. I ended up at Hope, which is unequivocally the place that I am supposed to be for undergrad. I met so many people that I would not have had the chance to know if we hadn't moved. This realization, that God knows exactly what He is doing, has made me fall ever further and faster in love with Him. 

I could probably go on and on about the lessons from this year, but this post is already a million miles long, so I'll contain myself ;) Hope you enjoyed the last post from a Hope College Freshman version of Ellie. 

To finish...here are some of my favorite pictures from this year...ENJOY :D