Day 12: Pity for the "Self-sufficient"

Since we came somewhat unannounced, on day 12 the kids at Fiwagoh still had to go to school, but only until one o'clock. Although I was kind of sad that we weren't going to be able to interact with them as much, we got to serve the workers at Fiwagoh by helping them with their Sabbath preparations. Pastor Benson leads his family in honoring the Sabbath by doing NO work on Saturdays at all; therefore, the kids and workers do all the prep work for Saturdays on Friday. There were many, many things that needed to be done that day, so instead of just moping around because we couldn't spend time with the kids, we helped the workers prepare for Sabbath. I was able to help wash windows in the dining hall and the girls' dorm, as well as make the younger girls' beds.

After finishing those two projects, one of the workers asked me to help her shine the kids' shoes; all of the Kenyan dirt wears the shoes out faster, so they shine them once a day in order to make the shoes last longer.

The Shoe-shining Brigade

180 pairs of shoes...I'm changing my major to shoe-shining.

As we were shining shoes, I got to talking with a couple members of the staff. One woman was describing her dreams to come to America. She said, "Help me find an American man!" We chuckled. She continued to explain how she would work very hard if she had the opportunity to come to America. Everything she said about our country was full of admiration. Jenny thoughtfully mentioned that not everyone in America works hard, in fact, there are many lazy people in our country. Furthermore, people in America feel that they can be self-sufficient, with no need for the mighty hand of the Father. This women looked up at us and said in a firm voice, "Oh, well then I pity them."

Indeed, this pity is well-deserved; we so often say, "God, I got this. I don't need You. I have everything I need. Let me do it by myself." We so ignorantly ignore the God of the universe, thinking that our feeble human efforts are enough to fix our brokenness. We turn to everything else to fill the God-sized holes in our hearts saying things like, "Well, if I get in to that college, then I'll be happy. If I can marry that guy, I will surely feel valuable. If I make this much money, all my problems will go away. If I lose just a little more weight, then I'll feel better about myself." Take my own life as an example...we cannot fix ourselves. I have tried filling myself with the approval of others, with a relationship, and with my weight, none of it worked, not even a little bit. Instead, these things of the world left me more empty then I was to begin with. Slowly but surely, I'm beginning to agree with my Kenyan friend. I pity America, not in a self-righteous way, because I too have succumbed to its pressures and the message of self-sufficiency that it preaches. Since God has begun such a transforming work in my life, showing me that He is the only thing that can fill me up, I want to stand on a rooftop and tell the whole world about God's heart-filling Presence. I want everyone to find peace in God's all-sufficient grace, because it will always be enough.

I'm so thankful that God gave us the opportunity to help these ladies with their work; they were even able to get a half day off because of the amount of helping hands God gave them. Since the kids didn't have school in the afternoon, and since most of the chores were already done, we had time to do one more lesson with them. We broke into small groups and taught the story of Joseph, and yet another time God pushed me out of my comfort zone, because I ended up teaching the lesson! Generally, when I get up to speak in front of a group without having extensively prepared, my words get all jumbled up and things don't necessarily come out clearly. God totally equipped me to give the Joseph lesson, though! We even had a time when the kids shared parts of their testimonies with us.

After the lesson, we had worship, which was a tad different than it had been the other times. We had gotten so close to many of the kids, that it didn't really seem right to sit in our own little "section" of the dining hall, completely set apart from the kids, so we went and sat amongst them for the message. With little Mary (not the Mary who wants to be a nurse) on my lap and Lillian right by my side, holding my hand, I listened to a 14 yr. old preach the Word of God like a seasoned pastor. How could I not marvel at God's glory with two of His precious daughters in my lap and one of His sons preaching His Word so emphatically??

Day 11's goodnight to the kids was quite difficult, knowing that we had to say the "real" goodbye in the morning :( I could seriously just move back to Fiwagoh and live there forever!

As our departure quickly approached, the kids began writing and hand delivering little notes to us. They would secretly sneak up, place the note in your hand, and then quickly scurry off. Though reading each note left me a weeping mess, I'll cherish these little memories of my Fiwagoh loves.

Day 11: Shrinking Comfort Zone Day

Remember in kindergarten, when you just walked up to the first kid you saw and decided to be friends with them. There wasn't any need to "get to know them," you just simply became friends, no rigamarole necessary. Well, with the kids at Fiwagoh I felt like I was in kindergarten again. As soon as we met, I felt like we had been friends forever! We laughed, shared stories, and learned about one another's lives with not even the slightest hesitance. Isn't it so awesome to watch how God's great power dissolves any man-made boundaries we can create??

Keeping in mind the deep relationships we formed with the kids (even after only being with them for a day), you may be able to understand the heart-breaking nature of saying goodbye to them. We woke up fairly early on day 11, had worship with the kids one "last" time (yes, the last is in quotation marks because I'm putting into practice that fun English lesson about foreshadowing), and then began to say goodbye. It was a LONG process, not because of the 180 kids, but because we just couldn't bear to let go without numerous, numerous bear hugs distributed to our Fiwagoh kiddos. Finally, we were able to get our sobbing selves on the bus, and we pulled away for the "last" time [there goes that fancy foreshadowing again ;) ]

I still don't think my heart has recovered from the final goodbye...It's not something I can adequately describe in words; words like sad don't really seem to do it justice, more like gut-wrenching heartache. I miss them; desperately, desperately miss them. I'm confused because I feel like my time there was so short, but I don't know how/when/if I need to go back. The whole "waiting on the Lord" thing is definitely not easy for me to do.

After crying my eyes out on the bus for awhile, I finally pulled it together, somewhat. I cried out a silent prayer that God would restore my physical and emotional energy so that I would have enough left to show His love to the kids that we were going to visit. I had expected that we would just pull up to the church, run a VBS program, and then head to the hotel for some shut-eye, but God had some quite different plans; He answered, yet another time, my prayer that I would be taken out of my comfort zone.

Here is a little compare and contrast for you...just a small aside before you read it...I do, in fact, realize that some of the things I was uncomfortable with pale in comparison to reality many face on a day to day basis; I know that I'm spoiled rotten, and that many would kill to live the life that I have...all that said, I just wanted to give the honest truth about how God took me out of my comfort zone, and in order to do that I feel like you should see where I am coming from...

Ellie's Comfort Zone vs. Ellie's not-so-comfortable Zone

-The cushy padded toilet seat in my bathroom at home vs. a hole in the ground in a Kenyan outhouse

[Another side note, I actually had a legitimate fear of public restrooms when I was younger, so the whole slanted hole in the ground was not my particular favorite thing, but God totally showed me how spoiled rotten I am through this experience, so I'm thankful for it!]

-GPS(s) vs. Getting lost in the Kenyan mountains

-Driving on paved roads vs. Driving in a mud slide

-Unquestioned safety vs. Potentially dangerous situations

[22 women + 48 bags on the top of a bus + interested city dwellers= not the best situation]

If you have specific questions about the "going-ons" about our day 11 Kenyan adventure, I'd be happy to answer them via another avenue besides blog. Needless to say, we drove 6 hours to a church, stayed for 15 minutes because the rain was creating the "fun" mudslide I mentioned earlier, turned around after seeing our hotel, and drove another 6 hours back to Fiwagoh, because Pastor Benson graciously allowed us to stay another two nights there.

I learned on day 11 that God truly is our Divine Protector. His promises to never leave us or forsake us hold true ALL the time. Day 11 definitely further developed my trust in God and His sovereign control. I like to think that God allowed us to go back to Fiwagoh because He wasn't finished in using us there yet. Pastor Benson told us later that when he told the kids that we were coming back, they all began to cry tears of joy. In some of the letters the kids gave us they said that when they heard we were coming back, they felt as though Jesus had come back. We were soo lucky to have two more days to pour into these sweet children's lives. Also, Pastor Benson refused to allow us to pay for our lodging, so we saved a lot of money that we were supposed to spend on our hotel in a different city. With the money we saved, we were able to buy Fiwagoh some extra supplies they needed, as well as some fruit, which they rarely get. Day 11, as in any other day of our lives, God was good; so, so good!

The End of Day 9/Day 10: He's more than enough for me.

After delaying this post for far too long, here's an account of our time at Fiwagoh Mission Orphanage, the place where several pieces of my heart currently reside.

We arrived at Fiwagoh on the evening of day 9, as I said in my previous post. Even before we parked the bus and began to get off, the kids were screaming and running toward us. For the past week and a half, we had been used to unloading the bus immediately when we pulled up to a location, but at Fiwagoh, there was no such chance. The kids came right up to us, wanting to talk and to hold on to our hands. As soon as I got off the bus, a little girl in a pink shirt seemed to pick me out of the crowd; this girl, Lillian, was at my side literally every time I stepped out the door during our entire stay at Fiwagoh. In addition to Lillian, a group of about five older girls came up to me right away, asking my name, and graciously repeating their own names when I couldn't understand them. One of my dear friends, with whom I spent many hours during our stay, Mary, came up to me about five minutes after she had introduced herself. She asked, "Do you remember who I am?" Uh-oh; my heart sank. I have never been that great with names, and I had just heard about six names in the span of 30 seconds, not to mention the noise from the roaring crowd of children intermingling with our team at that moment. A small panic leapt up inside me, how would this poor girl feel, knowing that I had forgotten her name? Wouldn't she feel unimportant, maybe un-valued? How could I show anyone Jesus' love, if I didn't even pay enough attention to remember His precious children's names?

With all of these thoughts muddling about in my head, I fumbled through an answer about not remembering her name, and, finally, I simply offered a sheepish smile and asked her torepeat her name for me once more. "Mary," she said, with a bright grin across her beautiful face. She was glad to introduce herself once more, to initiate the beginning of a lasting friendship with a strange girl from America.

As I'm reading over what I just wrote, I'm kind of asking myself why I felt the need to share this anecdote with the blog world. I would say that the "moral of my story" basically boils down to my inadequacy, my inability to do anything meaningful apart from God's mighty hand, myutter ineptitude to make an impact on the world without His power. Before I went on the trip, I thought that God was going to equip me in all these grand and mighty ways with impressive new talents that He could use on the mission field. I wanted to come back and tell everyone impressive stories about how I was able to do something amazing for God with some awesome character quality or skill I have. Well, guess what? I do have an impressive storyto tell, but it's not about anything I did. It's about what God did and continues to do. God didn't build me up with a bunch of new talents, instead, He broke me down. He showed me that without Him, I am absolutely nothing. I am a feeble fallen human, who can't even remember four-letter names. He is the God of the universe who knows EACH AND EVERY ONE of His children by name, not to mention the number of hairs on each of their heads.

I came across this in a devotional the other day...

"Anticipate coming face to face with impossibilities: situations totally beyond your ability to handle. This awareness of your inadequacy is not something you should try to evade. It is precisely where God wants you--the best place to encounter Him in His Glory and Power."

I'm so thankful that God graciously opened my eyes to my inadequacy, even in things seemingly small. I've found it so freeing to know that God's great power covers my inabilities on a unconditional basis!

I'm so thankful God led this sweetheart to me!

Anyways, back to our first day at Fiwagoh...we went to worship the evening of day 9 and encountered a compelling sermon from a 14 yr. old...yep...14! As Nahashon (Nash, our nickname for him) preached, I sat in my chair with my mouth gaping. I could not believe that the words coming out of his mouth were from a 14 yr. old!

Nash in action

After worship, we grabbed a delicious dinner from the pastor's wife, Florence, and then grabbed a bunk, deciding that sleep was far more important than cleanliness. We awoke the next morning and attended another worship session where the kids at Fiwagoh began their day by thanking God that they had been privileged enough to see the daylight come. Part of our team went to refresh our dwindling supply of water, while the rest of us geared up for a day full of the VBS activities. We started with the usual songs and also taught the 7 days of creation, complete with hand motions. The kids at Fiwagoh L-O-V-E to sing!! After songs, we made bracelets as our craft, then broke into groups for games. I was part of the team that was supposed to teach the kids how to play kickball. I don't know if you've ever had to explain kickball to anyone who doesn't know how to play baseball, but let me just tell you, it isn't easy! We ended up having to switch to a few Ugandan games the kids at Pillars had shown us because the Fiwagoh kids weren't having fun with kickball. The Ugandan games were a huge hit though!

We were quite in need of a break after playing the the hot sun for a few hours, so we took a 30 min. rest, and then went right back at it with a "walking safari." The 180 Fiwagoh kids marched out of the complex's gates and took us to see some "local wildlife." Lillian was, of course, by my side the entire time. We walked and talked, sang songs, and promised each other that we would definitely find a monkey before the walk was over. Besides a bunch of cows, we saw flamingos, and also, as Lillian and I had promised, we saw monkeys! I'll never forget running down the dirt trail with her hand in mine, as we chased a whole group of monkeys in the Kenyan forest! We ended up hiking for about 5 miles on our safari walk.

We had our second worship time of the day after the walk, and then we got to spend a couple hours after dinner with the kids, just visiting, talking, and taking pictures. I got to talk to Mary for a long while; she asked me about my life in American, and I asked about her goals and dreams. Mary wants to become a nurse, which is so fitting because I want to become a nurse too! Also, we passed out silly bands to the kids, and they thought they were supposed to stick them on their HEADS! I watched Lillian lick her hand, spread the spit on her forehead, and proceed to squash a then-soaked rubber giraffe to her head. It was stinking hilarious!

All in all, day 10 at Fiwagoh was AMAZING! I love all of the precious kids there!

Some Miscellaneous Pics from Day 10 at Fiwagoh Home...

Singing with the kids

"Yahweh, Yahweh, is His name!"

Lillian and I on our "safari walk"

Pretending to be flamingos...I love how Lill joined in :)

Silly American kids, you're supposed to wear silly bands on your head!

Day 9: Rest for the Weary

In Kenya, we definitely slowed down the pace from what our schedule had been in Uganda. We were able to stay at Hope for two nights, and so on day 9 we had another VBS-type lesson, complete with songs, a small group lesson on Joseph, a "Bracelet of Many Colors" craft, and more game time.

Throughout our time in Africa, we pretty much sang the same songs, but I absolutelyLOVED them, especially because the words. "I Know my God is Real" says…

I know my God is real,

And nothing will change how I feel.

I'll give Him my worship, and I always will

Because I know my God is real.

Yahweh, Yahweh, Yahweh is His name.

Yahweh, Yahweh is His name.

and "I Will Pray"…

I will pray in Jesus' name

And believe, things will change.

For I know, Jesus hears me

When I pray

So I won't worry or be afraid.

I will pray.

As I stood in a room full of children shouting the name of God, Yahweh, over and over again, my heart was so overwhelmed with joy. There were many, many instances during the trip that I felt the presence of God in the room with us, and worshipping with the kids at Hope is definitely on the top of the list. I also loved that I could walk out of the door and hear all of the kids singing the songs we had just taught them! I pray that theyreallyremember that Jesus hears them when they pray, that the real, all-powerful, infinitely wise, God of the universe hears each and every request submitted before Him.

Our time at Hope passed rather slowly, partially because our interaction with the kids seemed sparse. We had great fun with the kids playing games like Simon Says and Red Light Green Light, teaching them God's Word, and doing crafts with them, but the extent of our interaction was limited to only about 4 hours of the VBS-type program. Much of the time we were there, the kids had to go to school and prepare for meals. In retrospect, I think the more limited interaction was definitely God giving our team some much needed rest, physically, emotionally, and mentally. While we were able to pour into the kids through teaching God's Word and sharing laughter with activities, God refreshed our spirits bygiving us quality fellowship time with our team members, as well as more frequent periods of rest.

Despite Momma Lucy's insistence that we could stay for a little while longer, we packed up the bus yet another time and headed to our next destination.

On our way to Fiwagoh mission in Nakuru, we saw…GIRAFFES! They were just chillin' on the side of the road, so Daniel pulled the bus right over, and we got out to take pictures. Though my purpose in going to Africa was not to see animals, I was definitely excited to see some African wildlife.

Notice, I am coincidently wearing my giraffe shirt on the day we saw giraffes!

After the giraffe adventure, we drove about 2 hours and arrived at Fiwagoh Mission Orphanage. Looking back, I definitely know why God gave us rest at Hope; in the next 4 days at Fiwagoh, we would end up pouring ourselves out in every way imaginable, all in a good way though. God broke our hearts for the kids that lived at Fiwagoh, and we became really close to many of them.

Day 8: God's Little Gardeners

Jambo; it's Kenya-time! After making our flight to Addis, we boarded one more flight in the middle of the night to Nairobi. After a slightly stressful visa extravaganza (the price had doubled), we made it through customs and met our driver Daniel, who turned out to be God's saving grace quite a few times during our trip. We drove about 3.5 hours to a city called Kinangop. Since it was the middle of the night, we pretty much slept the whole bus ride, but awoke to somegargantuan pot holes and a slightly colder Kenya than we had expected. Nonetheless, our gracious hosts helped us get all of our bags off of the top of the bus, and some of the boys carried our bags all the way up to our rooms on the third floor,even though it was like 5 in the morning! Everyone always talks about Southern hospitality, but Kenyan hospitality is where it's at! Since we had had quite a long night, ourhostsatHope Community Center let us sleep through themorning, and we got to meet the kids in the afternoon.

Here are some pics of Hope CC:

A view from our 3rd floor room

Behold, the squatty-potty and all its glory!

Part of the Primary School

Before we had any interaction with the kids, though, Lucy the director of the orphanage showed us a video they had made about the history of Hope CC. Lucy has anincredible story! Having grown up with next to nothing, Lucy worked really hard and got to a place where she was living in a house. She took in one boy that she found onthestreet, and this step began her life as "Momma Lucy" to many orphaned Kenyan children.God continually provided (and still provides) for Lucy and her family, always giving them more space when they needed it, though at one point this meant living in tents. If youvisited Hope CC today, you might find it hard to believe that the acres of land once held only tents. Now, they have multiple buildings, a self-sufficient farm, a dining hall, and kitchen. Lucy's story is truly an example of God's provision. She has been wise with the resources He has given her; every monetary donation she receives, she requires the donator tell her exactly which project he would like the money to contribute to. Our team, having heard Lucy explain her plansto expand Hope's Nursery to accommodate many of the babies who are abandoned and die in Kenyan hospitals, decided to use some extra money to contribute to this project. When we told Lucy the project we had decided, she immediately (and I mean IMMEDIATELY) pulledout her phone and called a man to have grave delivered as soon as possible. Wealso contributed some money toward a greenhouse, and Lucy had part of our team working on the greenhouse the next morning! Lucy also told us that she wanted to be able to tell the kids who "planted the seeds" for the nursery and greenhouse.

The gravel that began a life-saving nursery project

The beginnings of the greenhouse

What an interesting thought…serving God is definitely all about planting the seeds He's given us. When we think about the diversity of the body of Christ, it makes sense that each of us would have different "seeds" we can plant in others' lives, and we just have to plant the seeds, but it's God who grows them. How cool would it be if every church inAmerica planted all different kinds of seeds across the landscape of the world? God could easily grow the beginnings of a flourishing garden!

So with our nursery and greenhouse seeds planted, we had worship, or as the kids at Hope call it, devotion time. In addition to singing and introducing ourselves, Lucy wanted someone from our team to share a word of encouragement during each devotion time (there are 3 per day, one at each meal). At the conclusion of devotion, we started one of our VBS type programs with the kids. We taught them songs and also an interactive lesson on creation. I absolutely loved what we got to teach them about day 6, the dayGod made man. One of our leaders, Diana, explained that when God made man and woman, He said it was very, VERY good, as opposed to the "regular good" of the other created things. We talked for a while about how we have a special identity in Christ. Think about whata lesson like this means to an orphan, someone who probably hasn't felt valuable or worthy for much of his or her life.

We then proceeded to make a craft with the kids, tissue paper crosses. In order to also explain the salvation message, Diana tied in the concept of mankind being highly valued by God into His great love in sending Jesus to die for our sins. It was encouraging to know that the kids would have a reminder of God's great and special love for them because of the tissue paper crosses.

After crafts, we split up into groups to play games. I was part of the team that valiantly attempted to teach them how to play kickball. For someone who has a concept for baseball, kickball is fairly simple, but Kenyan children don't know what baseball is, so explaining kickball was quite difficult. I think they finally got the general hang of it, but for a while we had kids just piling up on the bases, or all standing in one line in the outfield. They seemed to be having fun, though, so we considered it a success!

At dinner devotion, I really felt God stirring my heart to get up and share a part of my testimony with the kids. I had actually been praying about it for a while that day, so when Lucy asked who would be speaking that night, God gave me the courage to do it. Before I got up to start talking, I whispered a quiet prayer for God's words to come out of mouth, that the kids what hear what He wanted them to hear. I was afraid that I wasn't going to be relatable enough, because my life is fundamentally different from the life of a Kenyan child, but I truly believe God worked through that culture gap. I shared about my life in high school (though it had only just recently ended), how moving away from my friends and living in a completely new place was really difficult for me. I told them about how I had a hard time making good friends in the new place I lived, that I was so sad, and that I ranaway from God and forgot about Him because I concentrated too much on my worries. For much of high school, I forgot that I was a daughter of the King Most High. I also said that the awesome thing about our God is that even when we turn our backs on Him, He will never turn His back on us. God kept pursuing me, even when I ignored Him. He finally gave me good friendships, and people to encourage me. I encouraged them to never forget their identity in Christ like I had and to continually remember His great pursuit of our hearts.

I hope that God was able to plant some more seeds with the short encouragement spiel I gave that night. I hope that the kids at Hope Community Center never ever forget that their God loves them, and He will help them through any worry and fear that they have.

Day 7: Not here by coincidence

After our day of ministry at Amazima, we left Jinja and drove back to Kampala so that we could catch our flight to Kenya later Sunday afternoon. We packed up that evening, and then were able to enjoy dinner with Pastor Samuel of Return Ministries, the church where we were to go the next morning. Before our dinner came, Pastor Samuel gave us a"mini-sermon." I kid you not the first words out of his mouth were, "You are not on this trip by coincidence; God has brought you here for a reason." Prophetic, much? It's truly amazing how God uses everything around us; our circumstances, people we meet, things we see, things we hear, and conversations we have, to reach down and assure our easily distracted minds and easily discouraged hearts that He is still there, working out all the details.

Lately, I have been feeling so overwhelmed by the enormity of the problems the fatherless and impoverished face, overwhelmed with the different avenues I could take to try to help, and overwhelmed with uncertainty about when and where to take drastic action. However, reading back over my journal, and remembering once more Pastor Samuel's words, I am reminded that God is a good God, who is concerned with details; He will never leave me hanging. What's more, God never called me to "save the world" all by myself. Quite the opposite, in fact. He himself, through Jesus, saved the world. Jesus' sacrifice on the cross paid it all. Every. single. last. thing. Your slate and my slate, wiped completely clean. That's what matters…that Jesus already saved the day, not that I have to figure out how to save a fallen world. This realization has led me to run faster towards God, to lean on Him for strength when I feel overwhelmed, and to understand that if I am running after Him, He'll use me in His plan to help the fatherless.

Oh, and Pastor Samuel's sweet kiddos, Israel and Pall, joined us for dinner! Israel had abundant energy, and Pall is probably the cutest chubbster in all of Africa!

Israel

Pall

So, anyways, back to Sunday at church, day 7 of our Africa journey. We woke up on Sunday morning, loaded up the bus, and headed to church. We showed up to a house with two large tents set up in the backyard; welcome to Ugandan church. No flashy buildings, comfy pews, fancy music, just God and His children worshipping Him. Not to say that having nice buildings or a band for church are bad in and of themselves, it's just that there are so many less distractions without them.

The congregation at Return sang praises to God like you wouldn't believe! I felt so convicted about my own worship at church in America; how could I be so lackadaisical about worshipping the God of the universe? Why did I so often feel embarrassed to raise up my hands in the middle of a song? Why was I always making sure my "not so trained" voice wasn't too loud in case it hurt other people's ears? When the people in Africa worship, it's just them and their Creator God. No one and nothing else matters. I have tried to put a little bit of this mindset into my worship since I've been back in the states, and I've loved it! What a liberating feeling to just pour out praise to God as if no one is listening or watching!

After Pastor Samuel's sermon, we fellowshipped with the people for a while and then Pastor Samuel's wife Sara made us a delicious snack, before we had to leave for the airport. We were also able to shop at the Return "market," because of which I was able to fulfill my dream of owning an "African-style" bag.

Ok, so before we went on the trip, I had been praying that God would stretch me and take me out of my comfort zone. On the bus, on the way to the airport from church, God definitely came through on that prayer! I am not exactly the most patient person in the world, in fact, that might just be the understatement of the year…I HATE to wait and I HATE to be late. Well, on the way, we got stuck in a MASSIVE traffic jam. We were sitting in traffic for what felt like 6 hours! We almost missed our flight to Addis Ababa, our connecting point for the flight to Kenya. However, God totally took care of us. There was a sweet, angel of a man at the airline desk who let us basically cut everyone in line and waived quite a few charges on over-weight luggage so that we could make the flight. Remember my point earlier about God being in the details? He definitely showed me yet another time on day 7 that He is in control. Oh, and in addition to fulfilling my dream of owning an African bag, I got to fulfill my dream of running through the airport like they do in the movies. (It's a weird dream I know, but, hey).

After Day 7, Phase 1 of the trip was complete…to Kenya we went!

Day 6: "Jesus Super Hero" Day

Team member and adopted mother of our room, Jenny Clark, told us the morning of day 6 that we were going to visit her "Jesus Super Hero" Katie Davis. Though I have never dubbed Katie my Jesus Super Hero, she truly is one. The only reason I was even on this trip to Africa was her blog, which helped me connect with Visiting Orphans. Katie is a young woman of God, who has selflessly stepped out in faith, taking seriously Jesus' words to care for the less fortunate. She started and runs Amazima ministry. Check out their website, here.

On Saturdays, Katie runs a feeding program for a whole host of hungry mouths, and we were fortunate enough to visit Amazima on a Saturday to see all of this take place.

[Just a small aside...a lot of the pics I'm using are from my team member Jenny...she captured the beauty of Africa much better than my little camera could...thanks for being awesome Jenny!]

We began our time at Amazima with worship, led by Raul. Hewas sooo good with the kids. First, we had songs, then Raul taught a lesson on the Good Samaritan.

Probably one of the most heart warming things I have ever seen happened later in the afternoon because of Raul's lesson. After all of the kids had gotten their food, some other kids who weren't a part of the program came to the fence, begging for food. These kids from Amazima went over to the fence, and started sharing the food they had just received! So, so sweet!

I spent a lot of day 6 trying to listen for God's voice. Though God had been working on my heart since we got to Uganda, when Katie told us her story, that's when He really hit me hard. Katie sat down with us and told us her story, basically how she found herself a mother of 13 living in Uganda, running a non-profit organization at such a young age. There is no way anyone could listen to her story and not feel God tugging on their heart. God's work through Katie is astounding. I felt and still do feel so inspired by Katie, but more importantly by God's story that Katie has chosen to take a role in.

That day, questions were mulling about in my head like: "Well, why can't I go?"; "Should I just up and leave after high school to serve overseas like Katie did?"; "God, do you want me here?" I actually had a hard time engaging whole-heartedly with the kids, because I just couldn't focus. I felt God prodding on my heart, and I was so confused. Don't get me wrong, I had a great day with the kids at Amazima, but for a while during the afternoon I was just walking around trying to conceal the tears that kept slowly creeping down my face. God was moving my heart in such a profound way, and I was so overwhelmed thinking about the possibility of living a life like Katie's. What would that look like for me? How would it feel to give up my family, my boyfriend, the comfort of security and safety? Did I feel this way for the right reasons, or was I just trying to copy Katie's life? Even after being home for over a month, I still haven't quite answered these questions. I do know that God has given me a heart for missions, and specifically for orphans. I do know that in the future whether that be in one year, five years, ten years, I will do something to reach out to orphans. I might live in Africa, Asia, the Middle East, South America. I might support orphans state-side. I might adopt, but for right now, I'll wait on the Lord. I'll pray for discernment, and I'll share His love with the people He's put in my life at this moment.